I haven't worked out the last couple days and you know what, that's okay because its the weekend and sometimes you need a break. So tomorrow I will start again and it will be great. Right? ;)

Every now and then I wake up in the morning(Or..more like the afternoon) and vaguely remember writing something on my ipod the night before. So I open Notes and I read the most recent thing that is written.
Last night I stayed up until almost four and even then I was forcing myself to go to sleep. So I'm laying in bed writing and barely keeping my eyes open...and not quite sure if what I'm even saying makes sense anymore and feeling a lot of things that I kept deep inside during the day because I'm afraid that if I unleash them in the light they will catch fire and burn me up completely. So there was no filter. There was no me going back and editing what I said and deleting things and making it sound nicer or more mean, or whatever. It was just me. It was the last six weeks. It was me missing you and me not knowing how to handle that anymore. It was long and it was painful to read this morning. I don't recognize the girl that wrote that because I don't see her very often. She is just as foreign and distant to me as you have been these last six weeks. I don't really know what to do with myself. I keep expecting to see you everywhere, but I don't. And I don't know yet if I am glad about that or if I'm upset. I think I go back and forth with it a lot of the time.