It's the end of November?

Where has this month gone? I can't believe tomorrow is December already...and then the end of the year. Wow! Time goes by so fast!

I'm in a better place than I have been recently. I am content with where I am in my life right now. I'm not exactly where I want to be, and I have places I want to grow and things I want to get better at, but I'd say I'm doing pretty dang well all things considered.

November has helped me grow a thick skin with my music and learn how to accept constructive criticism better even on my most personal songs. I have also figured out that I don't have to compromise my music for anyone. My music is allowed to be just mine. I don't have to share every song I write with people. It feels good to know that.

November has been a really good month overall.

There are 22 days left until Christmas Break, and I CANNOT WAIT!
<3

Darkest Days

So I am currently writing a song called "Darkest Days". I have the chorus for it completed and now I just need a couple verses. It feels so good to write again.

Package from Jelena

The package was supposed to be for my birthday, but it came a little late.  Regardless it was a nice surprise<3 Inside was a framed picture of the two of us, Serbian candy, Serbian Cookies, a dress and letters and a flashdrive with all the pictures we took while she was here, and our 'Call Me Maybe' video<3 

These are some of my favorite pictures from the flashdrive<3

I miss her so much. We really did have such a great time while she was here. It is kind of hard sometimes not having her here, but I'm so glad we met!

Too many Calories passed okay

Carmel Macchiato from Starbucks.
Tai Pei Beef&Broccoli
Studying
Studying
Homework
Caffeine


It has been a long day and I have eaten so much crap that is isn't even funny. I started working out again on Monday. It's only Tuesday, but I realize why I always love it. I feel good...although I'd feel better if I wasn't eating crap all the time...it is just so hard to find time to accommodate that. So, for now that is going to have to work. Also I am ALMOST to a B in History. I will have a B by the end of the Semester...which by the way is only four more weeks!

25 days until break.

25 Days

I can do anything for 25 days.

This made my heart warm :)

What Love means to a 4-8 year old: A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, ’What does love mean?’  The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined  

See what you think:

‘When my grandmother got arthritis , she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore.. So my grandfather does it for her all the time , even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.’ – Rebecca, age 8 

‘When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.’ – Billy, age 4 

‘Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.’ – Karl, age 5 

‘Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.’ –Chrissy, age 6 

‘Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.’ -Terri, age 4 

‘Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him , to make sure the taste is OK.’ – Danny, age 7 

‘Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing , you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. 
They look gross when they kiss’ – Emily, age 8 

‘Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents 
and listen.’ –Bobby, age 7

‘If you want to learn to love better , you should start with a friend who you hate” –Nikka, age 6 

‘Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt , then he wears it everyday..’ –Noelle, age 7 

‘Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.’ –Tommy, age 6 

‘During my piano recital , I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn’t scared anymore.’ – Cindy, age 8 

‘My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don’t see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.’ –Clare, age 6 

‘Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.’ –Elaine, age 5 

‘Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.’ –Chris, age 7 

‘Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.’ -Mary Ann, age 4 

‘I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.’ –Lauren, age 4 

‘When you love somebody , your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.’ - Karen, age 7 

‘Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn’t think it’s gross..’ –Mark, age 6 

‘You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.’ –Jessica, age 8

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman’s yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, ‘Nothing , I just helped him cry’. 

Post Thanksgiving Post :)

My mom made the most beautiful Thanksgiving Dinner ever this year! I have so much to be thankful for. After we ate dinner, we went to the living room and watched Thanksgiving episodes of Friends and played drinking games :) It is a fun tradition <3

Things I am thankful for this year :

1. My supportive parents. My parents are the best in the game. They have always supported my sister and me in whatever it was that we wanted to do. They have been helping me pursue my dreams and I could not be more grateful. I know that I am extremely lucky to have parents that are so interested in what I have to say or what I want to do and who are willing to sacrifice their day off to help me do it. It means more to me than I can say<3

2. My Sister<3 I am so thankful for my sister, Sabrie. She is such a wonderful example of a strong Christian woman and I am so grateful that she is in my life. She is moving out East next year. It will be the first time she has lived away from home. It is so weird to think about, but I have shared a room, or lived right across the hall from her for my entire life. It will be hard not having her there next year.

3. I am grateful for my friends. It has been a weird year for me so far. I have drifted away from a couple of people and that is always hard, but I am glad that I am left with people like Zac and Jelena and Christina and Hayden. Zac and I have been Beeesstt friends for two years now and I am so thankful that I can say that. I love him so much and he is like the brother that I never knew I wanted. I am so thankful for Jelena, even though we live thousands and thousands of miles away and have an ocean between us, she is still the very best! I am so glad that I met her last year. She is such a sweet girl. I am thankful for Christina and Hayden, whom I have gotten much closer to this year. They are both so funny and always keep me laughing. <3

4. I am thankful for my music and for acting...maybe that sounds weird, but without either of those things, I would be completely lost. And I know that it has nothing to do with me. God is the one who gave me these things and so I guess, really, I am just thankful for God and all the work he is doing and has done in my life. God is so faithful and He has been directing my path. I'm allowed one step at a time, because He knows that sometimes, that's all I can handle.

Thanksgiving Thursday

I spent Thanksgiving day eating curry with Sabe, Kalie and Zac. It was a lot of fun and the eattttinnggg wasss good<3 :)

Early Morning Friends Bloopers.
Life is good you guys.

 I spent the last two hours working on We're in Love and Saturday Nights with KC&David. I am more than pleased with how everything is turning out! I am starting to get excited about all of this again! It feels so good to get things done, I can't even tell you! <3 This Thanksgiving break is off to an excellent start! :D

Encouraging Words

Encouraging words from a (usedtobe) Teacher at John Casablancas! 



"That's crazy tho haha I'm not a teacher anymore so I can say that you were the most talented student I had and its crazy you do music as well

Keep at it! Your acting was better than some of the senior mt students at uco. No joke"

Thanksgiving Break Day One

I'm spending the majority of my day today working on music. I'm meeting with KC&David to hash out a couple more songs and get them recorded. Today is going to be productive and that is a really good feeling. My music has fallen on the wayside the last couple months, but I'm ready to get back in this. I'm ready to start working hard again. My hard work will pay off. Sometimes I have to remind myself of that, but it's true. I know this is what I am supposed to be doing. I was called to do this and I am pursing it with passion! God is so good you guys...just so good<3

For the longest time, I defined my happiness by how much we talked on a certain day or if you smiled at me before you left. For the longest time, I was lost. For the longest time, I didn't know who I was. There have been many sleepless nights holding my eyes open just to think about you for a few more minutes...but I was so naive to think that the things I felt had to depend on the things you felt. I was stupid to think that I couldn't define myself by the things I did, or if I smiled at someone before I left. I let you have that chapter of my life, but I think it is time for me to start a new chapter that just belongs to me. You were such a weird part of my life, but I learned more from you than anyone else. I figured out what it means to write a song that brings you back to a certain time in your life. I figured out that it is good to be honest with yourself and write about things. I learned that sharing my experience as a person, as a human, that it is important. From all the times you didn't listen to me, I found out that I have something to say. I found out that it doesn't matter if you understand my intentions or accept my apology or think I'm a good person because I know who I am...and I know who you are...or were rather and that is all that matters. I'm not making excuses for myself anymore and I'm not letting anyone define my happiness.

November Nursery Duty :)

Happy Sunday fellow humans!
I'm going to go hang out with a bunch of three year olds for a couple hours and teach them about Jesus<3 Woot Woot!

When I get home I have to read five chapters of Uncle Tom's Cabin and finish some homework.

Maybe this is a bad thing, or maybe it is really good, but I am becoming content with lazy weekends. I don't feel like I HAVE to be doing something. I can finish homework, read, watch Friends or Gilmore Girls, play guitar, write songs...the possibilities are endless, and I'm starting to feel okay with that. I guess I'm not very good at being a teenager huh? haha! But that is okay with me...or at least it is starting to feel that way.

Today is going to be a good day<3

Lazy Saturday

                                   

We got a new oven today!!! Yay! Naturally the first thing I did was make cookies<3 Yum! There are almost none left because they were so yummy!

I have spent the day watching Friends and doing homework. Lazy Saturdays are nice<3

Daddy Daughter Days

So my dad and I went to the Twilight Saga Marathon to go see the new movie. hah! Embarrassing right? I kind of went to humor him because he really wanted to do it but I actually ended up having a great time! It was a lot of fun and the new movie was so great! <3 Daddy Daughter Day was a success!

New Red Dress :)

October was a month of stress and growing

I forgot to do this at the end of October!

October taught me that the best things in life will stress you out every once and awhile, but the moment you stop having fun with it is the moment you should stop. Acting, music, it is supposed to be fun! So lesson number one from October :

1. Don't forget to have fun with music and acting.

2. Take a few minutes every once and awhile to take a breath and take everything in. Life is good, but life is short so appreciate every second you have.

3. Not every relationship should be resurrected. You have to let some relationships die sometimes because no matter how much you want to make things right, people don't change and the ending will be the same.

4. Sometimes you are stronger than you think.

5. Always say how you feel. You will regret the things that go unsaid more than the things you say. Don't ever apologize for your feelings or feel stupid for having them. I have come to peace with the fact that I am an emotional person. If you cannot handle my emotions or the fact that you may have a song written about you then so be it. I will not apologize or feel bad for having emotions and expressing them. I am human and intend to remain that way.



October was kind of rough. I was stressed 95% of the time and had to finally say goodbye to someone I wish I didn't have to. But, with everything in life...I am growing from that experience. October was a month of stress. But it was a month of growth too, and every now and then you need those months. But November is going to be better and less stressful. <3

Here's to November. <3

~Birthday Girl~

Today I am 17 years old. The only thing exciting about that is I can buy tickets to R-rated movies and I'm a year closer to graduating. This year I didn't do a whole lot for my birthday in the way of parties, but I have the best family in the whole dang world. Last night my dad took me shopping at Penn and I got some cute dresses and a new purse. Then this morning I went to Church with my family. When I came home I got a present from each of my family members. <3 My dad bought me the Complete Series of Friends! (which I am beyond excited about because I adore that show and I can not get enough of it!) My lovely sister bought me a cute sweater and fun boot socks<3 It is going to be a cozy little Winter!! My mom ordered me these tapestry-like things from London that we are going to frame. She really loves that I was able to go to Europe last Summer, and is wonderful at reminding me how much I love it and how lucky I was to have had that opportunity. We all went to lunch together at McAlester's and got yummy food! Later we are going to go see Taken 2 <3 It has been a great birthday so far and I am very blessed to have such a wonderful family.

I am about to leave to pick Christina up so we can go be Extras in a student film at OCCC. <3 It should be fun! It is scheduled for about three hours, but it should be a good time :)

Drama Bon Fire

Last night was our Drama Bon Fire. I almost didn't go, because I always seem to talk myself out of things like that, but it was actually a ton of fun! We played sardines and ate good food. We watched the stars and told Urban Legends<3 It was a blast<3 I am so thankful to have these lovely people in my life.

You know what I really miss? When I was working out and eating super healthy for like two or three weeks this Summer. I drank shakes made of nothing but fruits and vegetables and it was working out everyday. I felt so good! I don't feel so good right now. A lot of it is still stress, but I have been eating crap and I am just sick of it. I am desperate for Winter Break.

Lion Status

I don't think it has quite hit me yet that the play is over. I feel weird about things. I'm sad that it is over, but thankful for the extra time I will have these next couple of months. I am still a little behind in school, so I'm trying to catch up with that while doing all my other homework too. I have to miss my second lesson this month because I need the time to work on homework! ick! Overall I am just tired. I'm still struggling with the fact that things are so different than they were last year at this time.

Last Day of Pride&Prejudice

Shinny lights

Taking Back Sunday Concert on Halloween :)

Best.Halloween.EVER.