On Saturday night, I was in a weird mood so I decided I would go on a walk by myself...something I haven't done since about December when I got my license. It was about 8:30 but I just needed to feel myself putting distance behind me. I walked to 7/11 and bought a drink and walked back. I walked for about two hours and decided that I didn't want to be alone anymore, so I texted Zac around 10:00 and asked him if he wanted to walk with me. Just as he was saying yes, Addison texted me saying he was bored and home alone. So I told him he could come with us. So Zac and I walked to Addi's house and eventually made our way to my house. I made them brownies and we just kind of hung out. Zac went home around midnight, but Addison stayed. We have this weird relationship, Addison and I...we wrestle and fight and shove food in each other's faces and ice down each other's shirts...but we love each other and I don't know what I would do without him. We understand each other so well, without even realizing it.
     Addi and I were laying on the couch together and he just kind of looked at me, and said "What are you going to do next year when I leave?" I didn't have an answer for him...He isn't going out of state or anything...but things are going to change and I'm just not ready for that. I miss him already. It is those moments, those one in the morning wrestling matches...and the three in the morning conversations that I will miss the most...and maybe that won't all change and go away...but I know that I am going to lose some of that and it scares the crap out of me.

This year is going to be really difficult because a lot of people that I love so dearly are leaving. Addison is graduating, Jelena is going back home to Serbia, Zac is quitting drama. Those are three of my best friends, and it is really hard on me to see them leaving...

I'm keeping busy, and that helps with not feeling too sad about things...but every now and then it hits me that...things aren't going to be the same next year. Not the same at all. Life does this sometimes though...and I know the only thing I can do is try to stay good friends with all of them and write songs about what I feel. Tonight I just miss them...and they aren't even gone yet.