Thursday, May 31, 2012

Killing time before Zac and I get ice cream :)

Zac and I are getting ice cream when he gets off work! Butttt now I am bored! I hatteee waiting! haha!

Happy Thursday Night Everyone :)

Remember, enjoy the little things.

Also, one of my arms is darker than the other because I drive with my window down and making waves with my arm in the air. Sooo there's that.

I was looking though old posts of mine and I came across this : Wise Words from Addison
The funny thing is, I remember exactly when he said that to me. We were sitting in my car in the parking lot of South Moore. It was a performance day and it was pouring rain. We were listening to "One and Only" by Adele and singing to each other. It was cold and wet outside, but it was warm and dry in my car, which is why neither of us wanted to get out yet. So we just sat in my car and looked at the rain all around us and talked. I cannot tell you how much I miss this moment. It really sucks that things are so different now. I'm pursing my music and he has a baby to take care of. The things we thought and all the times we wished out loud to each other that we could be together are gone...that is a really hard pill for me to swallow and sometimes when I think I have swallowed it...it comes back up with a burning rage I will never get used to.

P.S.

I never did end up watching the first season of The Walking Dead the other night :(
Andd Also, in Florida there was a man who had a virus that makes him hungry for human flesh...and then he ate a man's face.

So I'm not quite sure what the world is coming to at this point.

Just an update on world events!

When I leave

Nashville

Time until Wednesday, June 6, 2012 (Oklahoma City time)

5	days
124	hours
7489	minutes
449364	seconds

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

I am Sam

It has been a really long time since I have seen this movie. Now I remember why I loved it so much. This is such a beautiful movie. Sean Penn, just...wow! He is the kind of actor I aspire to be. He has done so many different roles in his career, but each role he gives you a part of himself, and that makes each role beautiful and human. I spent almost an hour after I finished the movie watching a special feature on the DVD called "Becoming Sam" If you have the movie, watch that. It will change you. This movie, will change you. I am Sam was made in 2001. That was nine years ago...but it is still perfect and relevant and everything a movie should be.

Thank you to every person that was involved in making this film. <3

P.s. Fun Fact : The Editor for I am Sam also worked on the movie One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

Today I had the photo shoot for the album cover(and insides)! It went SOOO well! The photographer was great and he was impressed that we were so prepared and had ideas. He actually gave me the name of a couple places that I should look into and said I could use his name (since he knows the owner really well) That was super encouraging! He told me "If you ever get bored singing, you could always be a model"

It is storming like crazy right now! I just dropped Jelena off, we went to Best Buy to bug Zac at work and then put air in my tire(which was pretty entertaining since Jelena can't drive and I had never done if before) Then we got Starbucks! It just started pouring when I pulled in to my house! Tonight is a good movie night I think :)

My dad and I stopped at FYE today to look for Sara Bareilles's new Cd...but didn't find it! BUTTTTT this is what I came home with instead!

The Avett Brothers<3

I am Sam, one of my absolute FAVORITE MOVIES EVER!

S.B. Live at the Filmore in 2008

Monday, May 28, 2012

It's a funny thing, moments like tonight. I sat in complete darkness listening to rain with a heating pad, blanket, and fan on high watching The Notebook. It was peaceful. Maybe its the fact that my family(and Kait, Scarlet, and Judy) ate lunch at the table today. Maybe it is that Addison and I are finally on speaking terms again. Maybe its that I have realized how blessed I am to have my family...but whatever it is, it is good. Sometimes you need to sit in the dark and watch a movie you have seen before and hug a pillow and lay down. Sometimes that's just what you need to do. I'm feeling better than I have since Wednesday. Things are not perfect though, but of course they aren't, this is real life after all! But things are better. I'm learning to be happy with the circumstances that I am in and be thankful for the people and things I do have in my life.

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Pictures from the last couple weeks :)

Me and Jelena at Drama Banquet<3

Me and Anja at Drama Banquet<3

My Fourth Hour Drama Class in the New Auditorium <3

Kelly's Graduation Party<3

Me and Jelena at Kelly's Graduation Party<3

I mustache you a question ;)

FYE Shopping Spree :)

FYE is this little music store in Oklahoma City that I have grow up going to. My dad and I will spend hours there, looking through music and listening to music<3 We walk in and separate, he goes and finds what he is looking for and I find what I'm looking for...and usually, in both cases, we find way more than we were looking for! haha! I bring him all my findings and we decided what I can get and what we will someday buy online. It is kind of an unspoken agreement between us. Anyway, we went there today, and these are my prizes :) My dad bought 17 other Cd's that I now have the pleasure of putting on the computer :/ Haha! Ohh Well, it is my way of thanking him I guess :) We also went to go see The Avengers! It was sooooo good!!! <3

So I am spending the rest of the night reading Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets while putting 17 Cd's on the computer and then watching the first season of The Walking Dead! I'm trying to keep my mind of things, and this is the only thing I know to do. Everything is too fresh to write a song about it right now, so I'm letting my mind go other places and trying to figure out how to heal a little bit. I don't quite know how to handle myself right now. So, I am going to watch, and listen, and read about other people's problems and ignore mine for awhile longer. Friday night Sabrina and I watched Seven Pounds, and I didn't cry...because I knew if I did then I would stop crying for the movie and start crying for everything else...Sabrina on the other hand was bawling! Then Saturday morning my mom was talking to me and she said something and I just lost it. I didn't cry for very long, just a few minutes...but that night something triggered it again and reminded me of everything that is happening with me and with Addison and I cried more. Now, I'm just trying not to tear up over little random things. It has been a really hard few days.

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Somebody that I used to know

It is crazy to me how much this sums up our relationship now.

You didn't have to cut me off.

So here's to the last two years of our friendship...

I want to fix this.

Now and then I think of when we were together

Like when you said you felt so happy you could die

Told myself that you were right for me

But felt so lonely in your company

But that was love and it's an ache I still remember

You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness

Like resignation to the end, always the end

So when we found that we could not make sense

Well you said that we would still be friends

But I'll admit that I was glad it was over

But you didn't have to cut me off

Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing

And I don't even need your love

But you treat me like a stranger and I feel so rough

No you didn't have to stoop so low

Have your friends collect your records and then change your number

I guess that I don't need that though

Now you're just somebody that I used to know

Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over

Part of me believing it was always something that I'd done

But I don't wanna live that wayReading into every word you say

You said that you could let it go

And I wouldn't catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know

But you didn't have to cut me off

Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing

And I don't even need your love

But you treat me like a stranger and I feel so rough

And you didn't have to stoop so low

Have your friends collect your records and then change your number

I guess that I don't need that though

Now you're just somebody that I used to know

Somebody(I used to know)

Somebody(Now you're just somebody that I used to know)

(I used to know)

(That I used to know)

(I used to know)

Somebody

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

I woke up a Sophomore and came home a Junior :)

Today was the last day of school! I am so happy to have it over with!!! I know I have said this before, but these last few months have been really hard and I'm amazed that I am have made it through them! Guess who finished her sophomore year of high school with FOUR A's and TWO B's :) This lady right here!!

I could not be happier! I worked really hard this year and I feel like it has paid off<3

Today I am thankful for :

Summer

Warm air

Air conditioning

Books

Being able to read

My lovely friends

Goodbye House

I am really sad that this was the last season of House. It has been on for the last eight years...which means I have been watching this show for HALF OF MY LIFE. Is that not crazy to anybody else?! I think it is so marvelous to know that hundreds of people have worked for the last eight years to make House because they all love it, because they care(d) about it...and thousands of people across the world have sat down every week, maybe with their families, maybe with their friends, or maybe just by themselves to watch this show. Things like this make me so excited to get into the acting world. There is an innate desire in my heart to be a part of something like that...to be a part of a group of people who spend every day doing what makes them happy to make other people happy! I am so impressed with how many people come together to produce something that seems so simple. Every week this show was on for the last eight years, I have sat down with my dad (and sometimes my mom and/or sister) and experienced what House is. That is really beautiful to me and I hope that someday I can be a part of something that brings people together like that. House was kind of a way for my parents to share their medical worlds with me. They are both nurses and I think this was a way for me to learn about what they love. House, as a character is/was a very sarcastic person...so naturally I related to him. Even though I hate to see it go, even though I hate to see it all end, I am so pleased and impressed with the ending. It was written to perfection.

So Goodbye House and thank you for the last eight years<3

Sunday, May 20, 2012

I have always loved this

This is what makes me want to dance...my gosh I wish I knew how to dance<3

The Avett Brothers

I want to meet them someday. I am crazily in love with how incredibly talented and passionate they are. <3

What I'm reading :)

Life is so good :)

I have been kind of slacking this month with my writing, but it has been a busy busy month. Guys, May is almost over. Can you even believe that? So much has changed this school year. We only have three days left of school...that is the last three days I will ever be a Sophomore in high school! Isn't that weird? I was talking with my dad the other day and It is crazy to me how much I have changed this year. I am so thankful for the people in my life. My relationship with my parents has grown and the relationship with my sister has grown as well. Isn't that a beautiful thing? I have lived and loved these people for the last 16 years and there is still room to grow! The blows my mind a little bit!!
There are a lot of people that I have met this year and become close to this year that have completely changed my life in so many ways. I am thankful for that...for the good and the bad because every second counts. Maybe its because I watched the movie Click today or maybe it is something completely different, but I just want to make even more of an effort to enjoy the little things....like going to the park with Zac, and eating ice cream with Jelena, singing in my car with Kayla, sitting in my car talking with Sabrina! I have been so blessed.
This summer is going to be such a time of growth, I can feel that and I am so excited!

Life is so good you guys, don't forget that!

Wise words from Jelena

Last night, I was talking to Jelena and she was telling me how she caught herself getting upset over something stupid and how she realized that she has every reason to be happy. She has amazing parents that love her and even though they are different, she has amazing host parents who love and care about her too. She was telling me how we have to choose to be happy and that doing that doesn't mean that everything is perfect in your life but that you realize the things that are important and find joy in them.

It was a good reminder for me to enjoy the small things in life because they make the big things so much better.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

These last few weeks have been pretty rough. I have had issues with JC and with my tracks, but we are working through that and I realize that everything is in God's hands. I just have to trust that sometimes.

Of course, a very dear friend and I aren't talking right now, which is hitting me pretty hard. It isn't like this is the first time we have done this...but it feels different this time and it hurts a lot more.

Jelena leaves in twenty-seven days. I don't want her to go.

I was told from a couple different professionals, that I would be great for commercials and that I have the right look for them! So that is exciting and encouraging to hear.

Even though a lot of hard/stressful things are going on, I am happy. I love my life and I love my career and I love my friends and family! I'm rereading the Harry Potter series :) And just enjoying the little things, and the small moments. Things are good, things are hard sometimes...but things are good.