I stay up and just stress myself out about everything. I'm looking at stuff for college and I feel so completely unprepared. I know I still have a couple years until I actually go to college, but I am feeling the pressure. Every time I tell someone that I want to be an actor and musician, the first thing they say is "Oh, well I suggest you have a backup plan." But the thing is...I don't want to have a backup plan. I want this to be my life. I want to work hard and have it pay off. I want to be the exception...and maybe that is selfish of me, and maybe I am being ignorant. I mean I would probably tell someone to have a backup too if they were in my situation, but to be perfectly honest, I am just not good at anything else! I am a performer. I am an actress. I am a musician. I am a songwriter. I am an artist. Without all of that...I am nothing. I don't know how to do anything else. So, I don't want to waste my time preparing a backup, when I could be spending all my time focusing on plan A. If you spend more time working on  your backup than you do your first plan, your backup becomes your first plan and I don't want that to happen to me.


Okay. I'm doing having my weekly meltdown.

End.Rant.