This is how it is right now

I probably could have fallen asleep at 7:30 tonight, yet here I am...at 9:30 writing. I'm just kind of in a funk. I have all these feelings and emotions and I'm struggling to articulate them to the people that need to hear them...let alone to myself. I'm working on some songs and I'm writing things down. I just feel like I need some closure, if that makes any sense. I'm kind of tired of talking about things, and I'm tired of not talking about them. I want to talk about everything and get it all out there. But at the same time, I just want to keep my mouth closed and let things be how they will be for awhile, because I feel like I've been fighting really hard for something that just isn't worth all the effort. I know that people have been telling me that for awhile, and I've been telling that to myself for awhile now too...but sometimes I just feel it. Its not something I can really believe...but sometimes it just hits me for these brief seconds...It will be gone tomorrow, it always is, but for right now I know that it just isn't worth anymore time. I don't know if that will change anything though because even though, right now I know it isn't worth my time, it doesn't change how I feel. I guess that's just how it is right now.